You are a Gift!

You are a Gift!

It’s December 20th and a red letter day in my life, it’s my Daddy’s birthday and my adoption day! Many’s the time that Mother and Daddy recounted standing before a judge and making a covenant to love, protect, and parent me to the best of their ability, and of course with the Lord’s help, for the rest of their lives. As this covenant was set I walked up and down the rows of theatre style seating, clomping the swivel parts up and down-row after row-singing, “Happy Birthday Daddy!”

“You are a gift!”

It was a message I received over and over as a young child. Mother and Daddy, my parents of adoption, had just learned they would never give birth. Then my beloved mother of birth’s life came crashing down around her. Part of her consequences was loosing her children. My two brothers and I were placed in separate adoptive homes; I with Mother and Daddy. Daddy said in many ways their adopting me saved my mother’s sanity and her life. It gave her purpose, she was needed, and she found mothering me made her feel (and indeed they were!) very useful. Daddy too of course!

That’s funny because in my mind, they did the exact same thing for me! Mother and Daddy were gifts! They were my adoption gifts that brought a sense of being needed and wanted and worth anything necessary to take the best care possible for any child alive. I was useful and my life was not that which one looses easily or through neglect or even abandonment. I was useful, I was wanted, I was needed. And their pouring over love for me saved me and strengthened me for the things to come.

And then there was Mama Clara … my beloved maternal grandmother of adoption who took care of me during the week-days while Mother and Daddy worked as civil servants at the nearby Army post.

“You are a gift!”

Mother and Daddy told me that over and over again. Mama Clara was in her seventies and in her mind had lived out her usefulness. Then here came this little girl with a need as big as Texas and Mama Clara stepped in and filled that need with a grace and peace that was nothing short of supernatural. My life gave these people purpose and an overriding sense of usefulness and in the face of things to come, knowing that fact saved my life.

When I was nineteen I went on a grand adventure to marry a soldier and live in Germany … but I was not happy because I was so far away from a purpose and a place that needed me … back home. I lived close to Fort Worth for a while, but again I was miserable because the place that wanted and needed me was back home. I never was very good at being needed, useful, or wanted in marriage situations. Maybe all that echoes back to the days when I felt unneeded, unuseful, and unwanted. I don’t know.

What I do know is that when I came back from the second adventure, I never wanted to leave again. Here was where I found my purpose, needs I could fill, things I could do to be useful … being near Mama Clara, Mother, Daddy, my family, and the people who have come to mean so much to me … We built relationships that heavily depended on being there for one another. And I love that.

Mama Clara, Mother, and Daddy have all gone home to be with the Lord. My son and his wife have moved far away and are on a grand adventure … they have found very fulfilling ways to fill needs, be useful, and be wanted where they are. My daughter is seriously considering a life in the military which will of course take her and the Grand Girl far away on their own grand adventures where she too will find fulfillment in being needed, wanted, and useful.

So here I sit, looking forward to turning fifty in June and wondering, “Should I too consider a lifestyle that will take me on great adventures … far away? But so far, I continue to find that I am needed, I am wanted, I am most useful right here … at home.

Of course, if the Lord calls me on an adventure, far away … I will have His supernatural peace about going … So … on this the forty sixth anniversary of my adoption day, for now … I think I’ll stay …home …

Blessings,
Seriously